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I have my own take, but I’d be remiss not to mention why I don’t recommend following the most prevalent tips and trends, before we get to my personal advice. People love talking about themselves, and referencing something they wrote about themselves is sure to get their attention and show them that they have yours. Or give up (preventively) and move on without messaging?This has to be the single most parroted piece of texting advice out there. I suggest a different approach (see linked post, and/or read on). Certainly not bad advice and useful to remember in all walks of life.Say/write what you want, when you want, how you want, and you may send some people running, and you may go on fewer dates, but it will be with people who like you for who you are. And not to forget: Someone who would love you for who you are might be turned off by the persona you put on trying to please everybody, and wouldn’t that be a shame? It can feel really awkward to start a conversation on a dating app.Apart from countless “best openers for ultimate good time fun success”, which may work a few times until everybody is sick of reading the same thing from half of their matches, there is surely more popular texting advice we could examine, but instead, here’s what I suggest: I also once googled “tinder first message”. I tried to figure out who I was, so that I could be myself.When what I should have been doing was just writing whatever came to mind. Pointing out, or asking about an actual common interest I saw in their profile, but usually not as a first message. Yes, it’s brought me a 50% (non-bot) response rate, resulting in some of the best conversations and dates I’ve had on/from Tinder.

But I will say this, because I think it’s important advice: Be yourself. But assuming you are looking for a meaningful connection, be that a relationship or just something beyond purely physical, it’s just very important to keep in mind. Everything feels cheesier and forced when you're trying to get the conversation going, but it's like ripping off a bandaid — soon, the hard part will be over and you'll feel so much better.So if you find it difficult to send the first message, it can help to have some go-to opening lines.Of course you shouldn’t try to open with a joke, any joke, all the time. And charm can only take you so far without sincerity.Trying to be good looking, however, seems wise and can only help – in most situations.

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