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What they do not realize is that they are not doing anyone any favors by allowing their boundaries to be overstepped.Boundary-injured people often feel used and overlooked, out-of-control and unable to say “no”.
Our relationship became a long-distance one, which certainly helped with the maintaining of physical boundaries on a practical level.Years of nagging produced no effect, but when the punctual spouse finally just left to arrive on time without the other, the left-behind spouse had to face the consequences of her actions. This was not unkind on the part of the punctual spouse, but rather resulted in necessary personal growth for the tardy one.This example demonstrates a healthy separation when actions are causing anger or sadness. Compliant people (people-pleasers) need stronger boundaries. While boundaries provide good healthy principles for everyone, compliant personalities tend to be the most boundary-injured, due to their strong inner desire to please those around them.Friendships formed out of obligation, guilt, or codependence are not healthy and will inevitably breed conflict.God gives us freedom to enjoy certain people based upon temperament, interests, similarities, and compatibility. We can have good healthy bonds with work and church members, extended family and relatives without feeling pressured to be “friends” with everyone we meet.